


Of Kanimas and Crickets

by jujukittychick



Series: Merry Trope-mas [29]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Humor, Kanima Jackson Whittemore, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sheriff Stilinski Knows, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, Stiles Stilinski is the Kanima's Master, bonded, rewarding good behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28396656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujukittychick/pseuds/jujukittychick
Summary: Stiles and the kanima have a *bond*, a deep abiding bond, a bond that is based off of mutual trust...and Stiles’ questionable morals and sense of humor.
Relationships: Kanima/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Merry Trope-mas [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055879
Comments: 11
Kudos: 58
Collections: One Million Words





	Of Kanimas and Crickets

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Trope-mas Day #28: Bonded
> 
> So, with only 4 days left of my Trope-mas challenge and over 75k total words already written this month, my brain is fried, and y’all came _this close_ to getting a “I gotta bail this dipshit out of jail” fic because that was the first “bond” I thought of, just sayin’. As it is, have this brief bit of crack for your day :)

“Hey, son, I’ve got to go down to the station, are you going to be...AHHHH!” John stumbled back out of his son’s doorway with a frightened yell, hand going for his gun automatically at the site of a giant lizard creature draped over Stiles’ prone body. “What the hell is that? Are you okay?!”

Stiles turned his head to look at his dad and grinned broadly, which probably should have been a warning sign for John. “Oh, hey, dad. So yeah, this is Jackson. Okay, so it’s technically a kanima? But Jackson  _ is _ the kanima because apparently he’s got some serious identity issues?”

John pinched the bridge of his nose. “And why is...Jackson...curled up on you like that?”

“Oh, I’m his Master now!” 

John closed his eyes, took a deep breath in and slowly released it. “Want to run that one by me again, kid? I’m pretty sure I just heard you refer to yourself as a classmate’s Master.”

“Yeah, okay, sooooo, you know those couple of really kinda random murders? Like Isaac’s dad? Well, it turns out this kid named Matt somehow managed to claim possession of the kanima. Which I’m still not quite sure how he figured that one out, but whatever. Point is, he was the Master, and sent the kanima off to go kill the people he thought had done him wrong. To be fair, at least one of them genuinely tried to kill him as a kid, but you know, that’s what going and telling the police is for, not siccing your trained lizard monster on them. Well, somehow when we were all fighting it, something happened and suddenly the kanima was all up on me and wanting pets and followed me home?”

John counted to ten...backwards...in Polish. “Right. So what happened to this Matt kid? Is he what I’m getting called down to the station for?”

“Umm, probably? I was kinda busy dealing with big, green, and scaly here; I’m not sure what the others did with the asshole.”

“And Jackson is going to come back from….that… at some point right?” John waved vaguely towards the creature who just hissed at him.

“Oh yeah, I’m totally working on housebreaking him. You’ve gotta reward good behavior and stuff, right? So he does good things, he gets pets and cuddles and treats.”

John narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He knew his kid, alright? Stiles will be a smartass until the day he dies and Jackson has tormented him for years. “And what exactly are these ‘treats’?”

“Okay, so I figured, what do lizards eat? Bugs! Well, I can’t just go feeding Jackson bugs because then the others will just get mad at me.”

“Oh, we couldn’t have that.” John rolled his eyes.

“So then I remembered that little South American market down off Main, and when I checked they had a whole bunch of chocolate covered crickets and those scorpion lollipop things! So, score!”

“Stiles, no.”

“They’re a  _ delicacy _ , dad, people pay good money for these things. Normal people.” 

“Stiles, no, you can’t feed Jackson bugs, candied or not.”

“But he likes them! Don’t you?” Stiles started cooing at the kanima, as he held a chocolate covered cricket in front of his mouth. “Who’s a good terrifying lizard monster? You are!” 

John shook his head and gave it up as a lost cause. “He’s going to kill you when he realizes what you’re doing, you realize that?”

“Totally worth it!”

John tipped his head back and prayed for patience, muttering, “My son, everyone.” Deciding to go handle the murderer by proxy waiting for him at the station, and trying to figure out how he was going to manage the C.O.D. as ‘giant lizard monster’ wasn’t really an option, he listened to Stiles alternately cooing at and praising the creature that was Jackson. He needed a vacation, somewhere with no wolves or lizards or any other types of creatures. Maybe the North Pole. He’d just reached the door when he heard an outraged shout that sounded a lot like Jackson and a thud followed by Stiles cursing. Then again, maybe not, with his luck, he’d just find a yeti. 

**Author's Note:**

> Like my work? Curious about what other crazy ideas I've had? Check out my [plot bunny page](https://jujubunnies.freeforums.net/). You can comment on existing ideas or leave your own requests.
> 
> I'm also back on [LiveJournal](https://jujukittychick.livejournal.com/) now, so you can send me PMs or see the random things I'm working on as I use it to post ideas and stuff


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